Silhouettes of sinewy trees towered over me, its skeletal branches swaying in the night wind as if beckoning me to enter its frosty embrace. The ethereal moonlight bounced off the tiled pavement, its sallow rays ensnared me, glowering like a spot light through the fog, exposing me to the harshness of the night. Then I felt the meaty fingers curl around my arms, tightening as the other hand stifled my cry for help. “I can’t wait.” He grunted and smacked his lips as he pinned me down onto the floor with his weight.
I sprang up from bed and caressed my right arm. The dream was so real. I could still smell the lingering animalistic muskiness of him as he breathed down heavily on my neck. The beaded perspiration streaked across my tensed-up cheeks and tears rolled down uncontrollably. The crying had become intolerably loud by now.
“Would you just shut up!” I grabbed the glass and flung it to the crib. Almost regretting it instantly as the crying got louder. The shattered glass was strewn across the floorboards. Callously, I stood up on my emaciated legs and tottered over. My footsteps tainted the floor with its bloody imprints of my bleeding sole as I walked across the room. Yet, I could not feel anything, as if all the hurt in the world that could happen to me was done on that very night. Why did I have the baby? Why? I looked at it and my face distorted into an indescribable disgust.
I picked it up with my gangling arms and cradled it to my chest. “Hush hush, Mummy’s here now.” I hissed and my hands involuntarily moved to push the strand of stray hair away. I kissed it and put it back down. Sluggishly, I went to the bathroom. My wispy hair was tangled and all over my face. I could not even recognize myself anymore. My fingers traced the outlines of my frail jaw line and thoughts ran incoherently through my mind.
I wondered constantly why my room had nothing but white walls. They would not even give me scissors to trim my hair. I needed to go somewhere, anywhere. Wait a minute, where’s my baby girl? My face contorted in consternation at the very thought. They can’t take her away from me! No! I bolted and rummaged around frenetically.
“Mummy, here.” I heard a gurgle. I turned and saw my baby waving to me from her crib. I walked and an awkward smile formed on my face. Drawing her into my bosom, my gripped began to tighten against her small body. Tighter and tighter it grew and with a forceful wrench, I broke her. Fluff filled up the whole room and I danced around in glee. That devil spawn, a memorandum from the man.
Look what they've done now, bringing out the monster in me.
Labels: psychotic.
